Things I recently learned

My folks just visited us for about a week and while they were here I learned a few things:

1. A 21-foot-diameter redwood isn't as impressive as it sounds, especially after a six-hour drive to get to it.

2. The best part about visiting national parks is getting your national parks passport book stamped.

3. Ukiah, California, is the center of the white trash universe. Who knew?

4. My dad loves getting breakfast at Denny's and starts talking about it two days before he is scheduled to go.

5. My mom loves it when the flight attendant gives you the whole can of pop. (Although, who doesn't love that?)

6. I hate oysters. I ate one for the first time while Marcy and my parents egged me on. I almost ralphed in their faces--that would have showed 'em!

7. I have become an expert at spotting the wild parrots of Telegraph Hill.

8. I am tired of small towns with quaint shops and restaurants.

9. Alcatraz is still cool after five visits.

10. My mom never outbids anyone in Rook, no matter how good her hand is.

11. I am also tired of hobos.

Harry Potter eventually gets really good, right?

After I read that Stephen King was standing in line at midnight to get the last Harry Potter book I finally decided to stop being a snob about it and get on board. I finished book one a couple nights ago and thought it was fine, but not totally awesome or anything, although wizard chess seems pretty cool. Anyway, I'm withholding judgment until I get to book three because I understand that's when everything gets good. Right, Carly, Kacy, and all you other Harry Potter freaks out there?

That's amore

I always wished I was Italian American. Instead I'm a boring old Scandinavian/German American. No big extended-family Sunday pasta dinners, no Cosa Nostra, no cool names like Corrato Soprano or Santino Corleone, no cousins-who-I-love-like-a-brother. But at least I can get my groceries at Lunardi's, which is where your grandmother would shop if she immigrated from Italy to the Bay Area, and at least I can eat mortadella sandwiches, which I've decided I love. I hope I never find out what's in mortadella because that might ruin it for me.